Category Archives: Slider

Introducing The Half-Off by Jewbellish

After thousands of years in development, Jewbellish has finally cracked the code to the perfect Yarmulka.
It is the very first interactive, namebrand(ish), luxury shmata to have ever hit Jews (and gentiles) over the head. And being that we all love to buy things for half-off, our new product will really make you happy. That’s because it’s always half-off. (You can always buy half Yarmulka at a time.)

And the name for our genius product… (drum roll…) Half-Off by Jewbellish.

The Half-Off is not yet on sale, but you can buy exclusively on our website during our pre-release. (So please don’t kvetch if it doesn’t arrive the next day!)

If you’d like to order in bulk for a party, bar mitzvah, wedding etc… email us:



Talk Yiddish To Me (Nisht-Dirty Parody)

Jason Derulo took a sweet Yiddish melody for his recent hit. Jewbellish took it back.


Bubby: Jewbellish? Ha ha…

Jewbellish with me
I’m that type with a prayer shawl
Sway side to side
First-class style with my swag, ya’ll
Is Jewish pride
Cuz I, I know what them curls need
Monroe to Monsey
Got fishstick stains on my passport
It’s bubby’s recipe
Been around the world, they don’t speak my language
But your bubby don’t need explainin’
All I need you to understand is
Will. You. Talk Yiddish to me?
Talk Yiddish to me
איינצ – וואס מאכסט א איד
צוויי – וואס טוט זיך מיר
דריי – קים אריין
And talk Yiddish to me
Ya, Talk Yiddish to me
איינצ צוויי דריי

קים אריין אין מיין הויז – מי גייט אויף א שפאציר

וואטש דיין שטריימעל – צו גייסט צוברעכן מיין טיר
איך האב א גיטע טשולענט פאר די עולם צו עסן
מיר ברענגט נישט דיין באבע זי גייט אלעס פרעסן
מיין באבע רעדט אידיש און מיין טאטע אויך
די ערשטע ווארט איך האב געלערנט איז א גוטע וואך
איך האב נישט סתם א מיני ווען
ס’קומט פולי לודעד מיט א בעק אפ קאם
דו, דו ביסט, דו ביסט א יאץ
און דיינע ברידער איז א קלאץ
דו, דו ביסט, דו ביסט א פערד
און דיינע מוטער האט א בערד
Free Translation of Yiddish:
Welcome to my crib, let’s go for a stroll
Watch that streimel (alt: hat), you gonna break my door
I have good cholent (alt: stew) for my homies to eat
Don’t bring your bubby (alt: grandma), she’s gonna down it all
My bubby talks Yiddish and my dad does too
The first phrase that I learned was “have a good week” (alt: get a life)
I don’t just have a regular minivan
It comes fully loaded with a back-up cam
You, You are a yutz
And your brother is a klutz
You, You are a horse
And your mother has a beard
Oy yoy yoy yoy, oyoyoyoyoy….
Talk Yiddish to me!
Bubby: What? I don’t understand
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Mad Mentsch

What if Mad Men was a Jewish agency? Ah, good question!
Watch all four episodes of Mad Mentsch: The story of North Jersey’s classiest Jewish ad agency.

Episode #1
Don Drayfus confides in Roger Silverman before pitching to another nonprofit client the Jewish version of “it gets better.”

Episode #2
“Sometimes a man needs more than one…”
Don Drayfus opens up to a close confidant in a rare confession.

Episode #3
Hmm… Cohen’s Lipstick… How would you market a lipstick for the Jewish clientele? Don and the Mad Mentsch struggle with the right angle.

Episode #4
Reb Cooper is nervous about taking on their first Goyishe client.
Don Drayfus pushes the partners to branch out.

Why Moses Hit The Rock

Proof: The Jews that wandered the desert were no different than your average Florida retiree. With all the Jewbellishing, can you blame Moses for hitting the rock?

Watch one of the first Biblically documented cases of Jewbellish: