Comedian legend Jay Leno performed some stand-up before a crowd in Israel this week. Here are our top 5 jokes. What’s your favorite?
5) “I was stunned by how many Israeli politicians are going to prison. When you ask an Israeli politician what his cell number is, it has a whole other meaning.”
4) “Israel had some great leaders, David Ben Gurion, Golda Meir, Menachem Begin, Yitzhak Rabin. People were really touched by them. Well, of course, not as many people as were touched by former President Katsav.”
3) “When I first tried to get him tickets, they were sold out. But luckily, two tickets became available when former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said he wouldn’t be using his. You guys are tough. You sentenced your former Prime Minister to six years in prison! Did you hear Olmert’s defense? Not the best strategy. He blamed the whole thing on the Jews.”
2) “President Obama has declared the month of May Jewish American Heritage Month. He is calling it an opportunity to renew our ‘unbreakable bond with the nation of Israel.’ And he knows it’s unbreakable because he’s been trying to break it for the last five years.”
1) “I’ve been doing my research. According to the Central Bureau of Statistics, here in Israel the most popular boys name is Noam. Noam is the most popular boy’s name in the country. The least popular boys name? John Kerry.”
Their truck says 1-800-Pick-ups. One friendly UPS worker lived up to that ‘pick-up’ promise in a unique way. He helped a Hasidic young man pick-up a local Hasidic girl; and they’re getting married!
In this close-knit community of Crown Heights, the matchmakers (shadchanim) just got competition.
As reported on The Partial View blog, a UPS driver in Crown heights had an idea and acted as shadchan (matchmaker) between the boy and the girl, stated the Israeli website Charedim10.
The driver, while making his daily deliveries around Crown heights, got to know his customers well. One day he had an idea of matching up this boy and girl he knew. He gave each one the info about the other and within a few weeks they were engaged! Talk about fast delivery! The L’Chaim (engagement party) took place and the shadchan was there to join in the celebration.