In this episode of Jewbellish The News: Israel’s strange controversy, the KKK has open membership and a matchmaker helps solve the singles shidduch crisis.
– One is not permitted to throw out an image of the holy LoopHoler Rebbe. One must cut out His image and bury it before throwing out the WSJ.
– The punishment, for accidentally throwing out the paper without cutting out His image, is getting stoned. (Not the Iranian way.)
– The LoopHoler Rebbe, however, allows you to draw a new nose [in black ink] on His image, in order to throw it out. That visual nasal adjustment renders the image to the category of “some other Jew” and not the holy LoopHoler. Thereby being permissible to trash.
– If one is “too lazy” to recycle the WSJ, the LoopHoler allows you to accidently spill coffee on the paper and then trash it. The spill places the recyclable paper into the trash category.
All he was doing was walking while Jewish. But what happens next is no surprise to any New Yorker.
Posted by: Mendy Pellin
I was giving a talk before 400 people at a reform temple in New York. I started the talk asking the audience to raise their hand if they’ve ever been approached by a hasid asking if they were Jewish.
Every single person raised their hand. In which I uncontrollably responded, “damn, we’re good!”
Last week we posted one such REAL episode of a Chabad Hasid running after a New Yorker to blow shofar. In that spirit, Scott Rogowsky created this video parodying the YouTube hit: 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman.
h/t Yecheil M.